I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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