We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the day after is always just damage control
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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