Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
