I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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