it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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