We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize