We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
