so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
