I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he puts the penis in happiness.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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