I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
