fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
