I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
