I am puke
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
