She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
