what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize