your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize