Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
