i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
