Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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