who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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