The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
