Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am spending my child support on dildos
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
