Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Someone signed my nipple.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
