Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
