He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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