get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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