Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize