new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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