so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
