I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
