You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
