Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
