her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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