You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
