Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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