just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
