Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
operation harelip BJ is a go
handjob tips. give me some.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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