so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
