eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
