I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
