I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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