In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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