You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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