I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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