and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
