You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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