Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
