New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
