fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
