ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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