I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
