hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So squirting runs in the family.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
