Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize