i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
