8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
