i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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