Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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