So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize