You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
