So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize