he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
